As if dragging the bin all over the campsite and peeing up the tents, wasn't bad enough, whatever it was returned in the middle of the night!
So picture this, its silly o clock in the morning, and I need a wee, after negotiating my exit very carefully, so as not to break my neck climbing down the roof tent ladder, I find myself searching for a decent tree. It was cold, dark and deadly silent, (apart from the group of festive snorers, friends, that had accompanied me on this trip) And subsequently kept me awake all night!! Thanks Guy's!!
So I find my TREE, there I am nicely positioned, toilet paper in hand, and, yes you guessed it, IT had returned!
something was staring and snarling at me from the other side of the track!
Ok, I wanted to run right, but I couldn't ! I was in full flow, half way through having a wee !
But I couldn't just stand there either!
Me:
holyyy sh*t its going to eat me, RUN as fast as I can!
so with toilet paper still in hand, draws around my ankles, I was running! like my life depended on it...
I was running down hill, on a very uneven track, in a pair of old flip flops, and whatever it was that was chasing me, I am CONVINCED is catching me up!
By the time I reach the tent ladder, totally exhausted and still RUNNING, I launch myself at it, in a bid to get high up to the safety of the roof tent as quickly as possible!
NO instead I miss the step, trip over my own draws, (that were still around my Ankles) go arse over tit and end up in a heap on the floor covered in bog roll!!
Fuc**ing GREAT!
The reality of it was !
Whatever the f**k it was? that had started to chase me, must have been so scared, of what it had just witnessed, it had turned around and was running 100 mph in the opposite direction in order to get away from me as quickly as possible !!
Now your probably wondering, why I didn't use our Moroccan toilet , right??
Well I would have, had it not been infested with flies! they were everywhere!
The entire inside roof was a crawling mass of black Flies....
I swear if it hadn't been pegged down, they would have flown away with it!!
So the moral of the story has to be!!!!!....
Next time ! go wild camping, I won't forget the Fuc**ing fly spray.....!
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